During the COVID lockdown, I occasionally found a few minutes to walk. Not much, as I was my Mama’s caregiver and couldn’t stray far from my house and car in case something happened, which was often the case.

It was a scary time. No one had experienced a global shutdown; no one knew when it would end or if it would ever end. We were afraid of one another, so there was little communication beyond the immediate family.

Not many people ventured outside, and I was alone in the street. I remember a neighbor shouting from his open garage that I gave him hope because I was out there living and not wearing a mask. I felt confused for a moment and realized that with all the overwhelming decisions and minute-to-minute crises concerning my Mama’s dementia, I had forgotten all about COVID.

I was tired—so tired—and depressed. And so alone.

I walked by another house and noticed a small sign on the porch.

God did not forget you.

I broke down crying right there in the middle of the empty street.

How could the God of the Universe care about me? I struggled to take care of my Mama, unsure if I was doing it right. No one else seemed to have answers. I felt so tired and scared. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t be good. I often lost my temper, seldom prayed, and had plenty of dust on my Bible. I had completely forgotten God despite calling myself a Christian.

If a stranger were to meet me, would there be enough evidence that I am a Christian?

Doubtful…

I was in the middle of a 15-year relationship that was dying.  I had never been married and had no kids.  In my late 50s, who would want me?

And Mama was suffering. She knew what was happening to her. She felt terrified, humiliated, out of control, and confused.

She was a good person and a wonderful Mama…

Did God forget her?

The sign still read God did not forget you.

The Bible says that good and bad things happen here on Earth.

Jesus said in John 16:33: “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

He didn’t say that being good guarantees nothing bad will ever happen.

I don’t believe Mama was suffering because she deserved it. We live in a fallen world, but we won’t live here forever. I am convinced I will see her again one day, healthy and whole.

The day my Mama died, she opened her eyes and gazed beyond me. Her mouth formed a perfect O as if she were witnessing something extraordinary. I believe she was seeing her eternal home for the first time.

In John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” He didn’t say perfect people, just people who believe in him.

In Mark 9:40: “…I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.”

I pray this often. I do believe, and I want to become all that He desires for me here on Earth.

I continue to fail.

But…

There is a small book titled He Did This Just for You by Max Lucado. In it, he explains how human beings cannot be perfect or holy. Because of this, we cannot be in God’s presence. However, God, in His mercy, acts like a judge in a courtroom. He must pronounce us guilty because we can never be holy. The sentence is death.

But…God.

Instead, he takes off his judge’s robes, steps down from the bench, and hands himself over to the bailiff. Even though he has committed no crime, he accepts our punishment. He chooses to die in our place.

Just so we can be with Him.

The story does not end there, though.

Today is Easter Sunday.

He. Is. RISEN!

And He has NOT forgotten you either.