God has not forgotten you

During the Covid lockdown, I sometimes got a few minutes to walk.  Not a lot, because I was my Mama’s caregiver and couldn’t be far from my house and car in case something happened, which it often did.

It was a scary time.  No one had experienced a world shut down, no one knew when it would end or if it would end.  We became afraid of each other so there was little communication with anyone other than immediate family.

Not many people went outside.  I remember a neighbor shouting from his open garage that I gave him hope because I was out there living and not wearing a mask.  I felt confused for a minute and realized with all the overwhelming decisions and minute to minute crises with my Mama’s dementia, I had forgotten all about Covid.  

I was tired, so tired, and depressed.  And so alone.

I walked past another house and saw a small sign on a porch.  

“God did not forget you.”

I broke down crying, right there in the middle of the empty street.  

How could the God of the Universe care anything about me?  I was failing at taking care of my Mama, I had no idea what I was doing or if I was doing it right.  No one else seemed to have answers.  I was so tired and scared.  And no matter how I tried, I couldn’t be “good”.  I lost my temper often, I seldom prayed and certainly had plenty of dust on my Bible.  I had forgotten God entirely despite calling myself a Christian.  

If a stranger met me, would there be enough evidence that I was a Christian?  Doubtful…

And Mama was suffering.  She knew what was happening to her.  She was terrified, humiliated, out of control and confused.  She was a good person, a wonderful Mama…

Did God forget her?  

The sign still read “God did not forget you.”  

I remembered the Bible said that good things and bad things happen here on Earth.  

Jesus said in John 16:33: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.” 

He didn’t say if you are good, nothing bad will ever happen.  I don’t believe Mama was suffering because she deserved it.  We live in a fallen world.  But we won’t live here forever.  And I am convinced I will see her again one day, healthy and whole. 

The day my Mama died, she opened her eyes and looked straight past me.  Her mouth formed a perfect “O” like she was seeing something incredible.  I believe she was seeing her eternal home for the first time.  

And, in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  He didn’t say perfect people, just people who believe in him.  

In Mark 9:40: “…”I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.”  

I pray this often.  I do believe, and I want to become all that he wants for me here on Earth.  I continue to fail pretty often.  But…

There is a little book called “He Did This Just for You” by Max Lucado.  In it he described how human beings cannot be perfect, or holy.  Because of that we cannot be in God’s presence like we are made to be.  But God, in his mercy, is like a judge in a courtroom.  He has to pronounce us guilty because we can never be holy.  The sentence is death.  

But…God.

Instead, he takes off his judge’s robes, steps down from the bench, and gives himself over to the bailiff. Despite the fact he did not commit a crime, he chooses to take our punishment.  He chooses to die in our place. 

The story did not end there though.  

Today is Easter Sunday. 

He. Is. RISEN!